WWE Royal Rumble 2025
It's the Rumble, what more do you need?
What’s the build. It’s the Royal Rumble. And with it being the Triple H era, there’s only the 4 matches but it will probably still be 4 hours long. We’re in Indianapolis’ Lucas Oil Stadium, which does look very cool. An earlier start than usual so it doesn’t clash with the UFC trip to Saudi Arabia.
The superstar arrivals tonight are brought to you by Wingstop (where flavour gets its wings). The very natural blocking of these segments is unintentionally comical.
Stephanie McMahon (with about four extra syllables) appears to welcome everyone. It’s ‘the biggest rumble in history’ because they’re never going to come out and say it isn’t. Pat McAfee spent his NFL career playing in Indianapolis so obviously he narrates the opening package, it’s so obvious they make a joke about it.
Women’s Royal Rumble
Number 1 is Iyo Sky. A bad number but one that has won in recent years (Bayley in 2024). Number 2 is Liv Morgan, keeping up her run of entering every Women’s Rumble. As with most Rumble’s the action itself isn’t the most interesting, it’s about the wider package. Number 3 is Roxanne Perez, who is already on her third entry despite her youth and never having wrestled on the main roster. Number 4 is Women’s Intercontinental Champion Lyra Valkyria, who almost immediately has to adjust to her gear falling apart. Number 5 is Women’s United States Champion Chelsea Green, WWE’s chief minutes maximiser.
Number 6 is B-Fab. She’s been on a lengthy run of working house shows with more experienced talent to try and help her improve. Number 7 is Ivy Nile, some ‘you suck’ chants in time to the music. Number 8 is Zoey Stark, from the Pure Fusion Collective. No one has been eliminated yet. Number 9 is Lash Legend, from NXT’s Meta-Four. Chelsea Green finally makes the first elimination as she throws B-Fab out. Number 10 is Bianca Belair, who has a good record of both lasting in the Rumble, and making plentiful eliminations.
Number 11 is Shayna Baszler, another woman with a history of making mass elimination, the second Pure Fusion Collective member in. Ivy Nile throws Lyra Valkyria, they’ve had some tension over the IC title recently so that’s logical. Number 12 is Bayley, last years winner. Number 13 is the final member of Pure Fusion Collective, Sonya Deville. The Pure Fusion Collective spend a little spell working a trio against the rest of the field, which is still in the double digits. Number 14 is Maxxine Dupri, from the Alpha Academy. Ivy Nile welcomes her to the ring, they’ve had many issues recently. Dupri then hits a ‘Worm’ and eliminates Nile, and immediately gets thrown out herself by Pure Fusion Collective. Number 15 is Naomi, meaning all main roster women’s midcard champions have entered the match. All of Pure Fusion Collective get thrown out in a spell the camera’s don’t quite catch.
Number 16 is Jaida Parker, from NXT. Wade Barrett drops an N’Golo Kante reference (shout out to holding midfielders all around the world). Chelsea Green eliminates Lash Legend. Number 17 is Piper Niven, just in time to help Chelsea Green out., Niven takes her time. After helping for a bit, Niven inadvertently eliminates Green. Number 18 is Natalya, who ties the record for entering every Women’s Rumble. Number 19 is Jordynne Grace, formerly of TNA and now a member of the WWE roster. The sort of surprise that would hit better if her signing hadn’t been reported absolutely everywhere. Grace throws Jaida Parker out, then hits a ‘Death Valley Driver’ to Piper Niven. Grace and her former TNA ally Naomi (fka Trinity) have a moment. Number 20 is Michin (Mia Yim).
Number 21 is Alexa Bliss. The opposite of Jordynne Grace, this is a genuine surprise. All the reports had been that she was ‘far apart’ on a new deal and unlikely to come back. Almost like the reporting is open to manipulation. Bliss has been on maternity leave for the bulk of the last two years. Number 22 is Zelina Vega. Number 23 is Candice LeRae. Number 24 is Stephanie Vaquer, from NXT. Number 25 is Trish Stratus, from the WWE Hall of Fame. Wade Barrett nearly loses his voice at her appearance.
Number 26 is Raquel Rodriguez, finally coming to help Liv Morgan, who is still there somewhere in the mass of people. Morgan eliminates Natalya, followed by Alexa Bliss in short succession. Number 27 is Charlotte Flair, making her return from a lengthy absence, with new (worse) music, and pyro. Flair throws out Michin, and collides with some of the newer names involved like Vaquer and Grace. Flair gets rid of Niven. Number 28 is NXT Women’s Champion Giulia. Giulia eliminates Jordynne Grace. We get the cross-generational face off Rumble’s love doing, Vaquer, Giulia and Roxanne Perez opposite Bayley, Flair, and Belair. Number 29 is Nia Jax. She takes Zelina Vega out straight away. LeRae tries to get in between Jax and Trish Stratus, gets thrown out for her trouble. Jax eliminates Stratus, with the help of LeRae. Number 30 is Nikki Bella, who might have been more of a surprise if she hadn’t recently been in the audience.
A big convoluted pile of people ends with Nia Jax eliminating a large chunk of the remaining field and leaving us with the final 6. Roxanne Perez eliminates Giulia. Bella eliminates Bayley, Jax eliminates Bella. Perez and Flair work together to get Jax out. Flair eliminates Perez moments later.
Charlotte Flair wins the Royal Rumble. Felt slightly inevitable from the moment she entered (she got pyro). As things stand she could either face Rhea Ripley for a WrestleMania trilogy, or Tiffany Stratton for a clash of generations. A very mixed field that highlighted the difference between the WWE in house trained wrestlers of NXT and the international signings they’ve recently made.
Because advertising is important to everyone, we cut away from Flair’s celebrations for a Slim Jim competition advert. Followed by a separate advert for *guess what*, Slim Jim. Do you want a tasty meat snack yet? You better.
As is a current tradition, we see some notable names in the crowd. The Godfather, Mickie James, Kurt Angle (with his daughter). And then Marcus Freeman, who is a college football head coach, because college football is important and you should care about it. And Stephen Amell.
#DIY (Johnny Gargano & Tommaso Ciampa) vs Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin) - 2 out of 3 falls for the WWE Tag Team Championsips
Four men who have lenghty resumes outside WWE, although the history between them is mostly Gargano and Sabin. They’ve already clashed since the Motor City Machine Guns joined the company. One of the upsides of WWE’s spoonfeeding approach is that they put a lot of effort into summing up stories for people who haven’t watched recently, the pre-match video here is a good example of that. Mentions for both The Revival and Adam Cole during #DIY’s entrance.
It’s four very good wrestlers, two long tenured teams, so it’s a good match. The first fall comes after #DIY fake a tag to confuse Alex Shelley, #DIY go 1-0 up. The champions run through plenty of dirty tricks. The challengers upping the pace when they get the opportunity. A good run leads to MCMG hitting a ‘Skull and bones’ and winning the second fall. The ring announcer is announcing the falls in an unclear way, almost like it’s an iron man match.
The match ramps up in the third fall, a lot of double team moves, close calls etc. A misstiming leads to Gargano hitting Ciampa with a superkick. Two masked men who are immediately shown to be the Street Profits interfere, and #DIY win the third and deciding fall. The Street Profits helped #DIY win the match but then attack them afterwards. Apparently the Profits want to beat #DIY for the titles. Felt like a TV show finish.
Straight from that to a TurboTax advert, because you should work out your taxes with help from a WWE approved sponsor. Oh, and do it in Saudi Arabia, WWE would very much like you to think Saudi Arabia is a utopia. And because Pat McAfee is here, we get some highlights from his NFL career.
Ron Simmons is here. As is unapologetic transphobe Rick Steiner. And Rob Van Dam. UFC Welterweight Champion Belal Muhammad. And John Mellencamp, the singer, who looks like he was recently reanimated.
Cody Rhodes vs Kevin Owens - Ladder match for the Undisputed WWE Championship
A well done personal rivalry, Kevin Owens can elevate even the most overly sentimental material with his intensity, and Rhodes was built to play the foil. They hung the title belts from the ceiling back at the last Saturday Night’s Main Event, although Rhodes still had his with him when he entered the arena earlier (sponsored by wingstop). And both men still have them when they walk out. Just a logic gap.
Rhodes walks under a ladder on the way to the ring. The full ring big match ring announcement treatment.
A brawl from the off. Owens walks into a badly placed cameraman on the floor. The two fight onto the floor and break the only ladder that was already set up at ringside. They fight right onto the stadium floor, amongst the fans. Owens in particular is suited to the brawling environment, and thankfully neither man slows things down. Back to ringside and a strange combination of hardcore violence and absurdist comedy ensues, with a miniature ladder the focus. They both try and climb the ladder but get cut off by the other. Both champion and challenger take some nasty looking landings onto both open and closed ladders. One of the ladders has a step removed, and that step is used as a weapon, once again by both men. A lot of ladders in the ring. Owens takes a spine first landing onto the side of a ladder, disgusting looking landing. Rhodes has his own bit of punishment moments after. A big crash for both men ends with them both laying out.
Nick Aldis and a large group of officials come down. As does Sami Zayn. The fight resumes, Owens getting a cut above his eye. A vicious looking ‘Alabama Slam’ from the announce table through a ladder to Owens put the challenger out of action. Rhodes climbs a ladder and takes down both title belts to win and retain. A proper car crash of a match, some slightly melodramatic moments but both men worked hard throughout. Some inadvertently callous cinematography as the defending champion poses in the background of a bloody Owens.
Back to the adverts. WWE Evolve is coming, a ‘revival’ of the former Evolve brand that WWE purchased. From the looks of it, a new version of NXT Level Up, developmental for developmental.
You’ll never guess, more celebrities. Tyrese Hallburton, a basketball player. O’Shea Jackson Jr, an actor. And Kai Cenat, who once instigated a riot.
We cut to Joe Tessitore, who we can’t hear properly. And Big E, who we also can’t hear.
The traditional Royal Rumble ‘by the numbers’ package. Full of WWE speak, it would have been better if it had opened the show, but it’s focused on the men’s match, if you need to be told who’s match matters more.
Men’s Royal Rumble
Number 1 is Rey Mysterio. Number 2 is Penta. Starting the Rumble off with a lucha libre reunion, the first time these two have shared a ring in 7 years. Very quickly it looks like Penta is eliminated, one foot touches the floor, but not both. Number 3 is a man who has recently struggled with luchadors, Chad Gable. Number 4 is Him, sorry, Carmelo Hayes. Number 5 is Santos Escobar. Some good work between the various luchadors.
Number 6 is Otis, things getting worse for Chad Gable. Number 7 is Bron Breakker, the Intercontinental Champion. he throws Hayes out. Then Escobar. Number 8 is Akira Tozawa, who gets taken down by Carmelo Hayes just after he enters. Tozawa is carted off, into gorilla position. Screentime for HHH as he replaces Tozawa with iShowSpeed. With his history of sexual harassment and cryptocurrency scams, iShowSpeed at least fits into the corporate structure. Otis is eliminated. Then thankfully so is the streamer. Back to actual wrestlers, number 9 is Sheamus. Breakker and Sheamus renew their recent rivalry. Number 10 is Jimmy Uso. He hits some superkicks.
Number 11 is Andrade, hoping to emulate his wife Charlotte Flair by winning the Rumble. Number 12 is Jacob Fatu, who might help clear some of the ring. Fatu throws Chad Gable out whilst the feed is showing a replay of something, then Mysterio and Andrade. Number 13 is Ludwig Kaiser, who hangs out on the outside for a bit until he gets in and is immediately thrown out by Penta. Not quite record breaking in his brevity but close. Number 14 is The Miz, who dives into a Samoan Drop from Fatu fairly quickly. Number 15 is TNA World Champion, and 2024’s most successful wrestling meme, Joe Hendry. Nice moment to see.
Number 16, with awfully remixed music and all, is Roman Reigns. Reigns throws The Miz, and Sheamus out. And batters Joe Hendry, eliminates him. Nice to see the TNA World Champion treated like a threat. Bron Breakker is out as well. Jacob Fatu takes out Jimmy Uso and there’s a moment between Fatu and Reigns. The ring very clear for a change. Number 17 is Drew McIntyre. He’s been looking for a chance to get to Reigns for ages, briefly teaming with Fatu to get it. Number 18 is Finn Balor. Number 19 is United States Champions Shinsuke Nakamura, another former winner. Balor takes Penta out. Number 20 is Yeet, sorry, Jey Uso.
Jey Uso takes Nakamura out. Number 21 is AJ Styles, back from a few months away. Number 22 is Braun Strowman, back from his apparent injury at Saturday Night’s Main Event at the hands of Jacob Fatu. They collide straight away, and Strowman quickly eliminates Fatu. Number 23 is John Cena, who’s on his retirement tour, this is his last Rumble. Cena takes Strowman out right away, then Balor. Cena and Reigns are about to face off as Number 24 appears. It’s CM Punk. Quite the lineup of talent in the match at this point. Nothing happens until Number 25 appears. Seth Rollins. Finally a bit of action between all these big names.
Breaking the streak of great entrants, number 26 is Dominik Mysterio. Number 27 is Sami Zayn. The ring is quite full again. Number 28 is Damian Priest. Dominik Mysterio goes out. Number 29 is LA Knight, surprisingly his Rumble match debut. Sami Zayn is eliminated as we count down to entrant 30. Number 30 is Logan Paul, because the quota for absolutely dreadful people wasn’t high enough apparently. I’ve written elsewhere that the reason Logan Paul acts the bad guy so well, is that he is a bad guy. Doesn’t matter if he can wrestle a bit. Damian Priest eliminates Drew McIntyre in a moment we almost miss.
Priest gets eliminated by Knight as Logan Paul stands on the announce table, of course he drinks some Prime before getting back into the ring. Knight gets eliminated. Paul eliminates AJ Styles. A lot of talent left in the final six, and Paul. Rollins and Reigns have a stare down, with the usual modern WWE monologuing. They distract each other long enough that CM Punk throws them out. Paul then throws Punk out of the ring like he was discarding a crypto investors complaint. Punk, Rollins and Reigns at least bring some focus on the wrestling with a brawl round ringside. Jey Uso, Logan Paul, and John Cena are the final three.
Cena eliminates Logan Paul so thankfully the match is back to two wrestlers. A decent enough back and forth between them. Made unintentionally comical by Michael Cole slowly losing his voice. The mini match at the end of the Rumble is a trope, as is the struggle between the final two on the apron. Jey Uso eliminates Cena and wins the Rumble.
’Main Event’ Jey Uso might actually get the chance to live up to that nickname. Probably with some superkicks. And Yeet.
Overall
The content factory continues to produce content. The Rumble match is inherently interesting as a concept so they’re always worth watching. Neither Womens nor Mens were especially compelling. Too many sloppy workers in the Womens, too many obvious tropes (and undeserving entrants) in the Mens. The bottom third graphics that constantly ran throughout each Rumble were unnecessary and distracting, the only positive is the inclusion of national flags being a nice little touch.
The two non Rumble matches were good, the tag title one was a TV style match though. The amount of filler remains ridiculous, a four hour show shouldn’t have so dead time, could comfortably trimmed nearly an hour or added another match. Jey Uso and Charlotte Flair might be the least compelling pair of winners since the two Rumble era began.